If you’re anything like me, you might sometimes struggle with how exactly to relax before bed. YouTube videos, TV shows, Instagram, reading a book—none of them feel relaxing enough or use the little relaxation time you have to the max. Even after six years at Oxbridge, I am still struggling with how to spend my evenings, particularly the hour or two before bed. Here, I just want to share three strategies that have helped me feel content and rested by the time I dive under my duvet.
Strategy #1: Decide on a bed time and stick with it
Paradoxically, I’ve found that in order to have a meaningful time of rest before bed, that time needs to be limited. If there is no concrete time by which I need to stop relaxing and head to bed, it is easy for me to just keep watching random videos on YouTube, scroll through my Facebook newsfeed, or chat on WhatsApp—all of which are things that do not make me feel rested or content. If there is no time limit, I begin to think there’s still plenty of time, I can get to the meaningful rest later on.
Just like with everything else, deadlines motivate us to spend a certain chunk of time meaningfully and productively. There’s no reason for things to be different with relaxation. Relaxing meaningfully starts with setting a time where that relaxation will end.
Strategy #2: Get off the screen 30 minutes before bed
I’ve also found it very useful to get off the computer at least half an hour before bed. Now, I don’t always follow this rule; but my rest is always more meaningful when I do follow it. There are two reasons for getting off our screens a while before bed. Scientifically, the bright light of our screens affects our sleep quality. This is because the light from our screens tricks our brains into thinking it is still daytime, which prevents the release of hormones which make us tired. Even if we manage to fall asleep immediately after we close our laptops, the quality of the subsequent sleep is still affected. The result of worse sleep is, of course, a worse morning and a worse tomorrow. (Do take a look at Matthew Walker’s Why We Sleep if you’re interested in the science behind this. It’s a light and fun read!)
But even more importantly, our computers provide way too many opportunities to go down rabbit holes. New pages, new videos, new feeds are seconds away. Just like how our computers distract us from our school work or day job, they also distract us from meaningful relaxation. So cut that YouTube browsing short, and jump off your computer. Do something offline, like reading a book, meditating, or chatting with a housemate.
Strategy #3: Stay focused and don’t switch your brain off!
Many people (my former self included) believe that relaxation means turning our brains off and being unintentional. My personal experience (and if you’re being honest with yourself probably yours too) suggests that this is not true. Whenever my rest does not require any mental effort (e.g. watching YouTube shorts numbly), I find myself feeling unrested no matter how much time passes. The truth is, and I suspect, that true relaxation does not consist in switching off our brains, but in ‘switching up’ our brains.
What I mean is: do something different from what you normally do, but make that thing interesting, somewhat challenging, and intentional! For example, I am a PhD student and researcher by day. So at night I try not to do anything related to Sino-Japanese history. Instead, I try to write articles for this blog, learn about something random, improve this website, or talk to my housemates about their day.
When I don’t switch my brain off and focus on a few things that require effort, I feel accomplished and successful by the time I go to bed. But because I didn’t do anything related to my day-to-day job, I also manage to take a break from my usual tasks.
So that’s it! Three strategies I’ve found useful in resting meaningfully in the evenings. Decide on a bed time, get off the screen, and keep your brains switched on. Let me know in the comments what has been helpful for you!